By Erma Bombeck
I now pronounce you husband and spouse. There are few words as sobering, with the prospective exceptions of "We have lift-off" and "This kingdom is at war." but as they've got performed for hundreds of years, hundreds of thousands of brave women and men proceed to stroll down the aisle each year, with no rather a lot as a task description. Now, in her so much autobiographical e-book, Erma Bombeck places all of it in loving and guffawing point of view, as she appears to be like again on her personal forty-three-year-but-who's-counting marriage and the undying passages that make the honorable property of matrimony the highest-risk, highest-reward occupation of all. a wedding Made in Heaven...or Too drained for an Affair is Erma's own tale in addition to a resonant evocation of the many years that experience formed sleek American matrimony - for greater, for worse, and for laughs. because the sunny day in 1949 while Erma and invoice Bombeck first plighted their troth, their marriage has weathered the appearance of televised soccer and the darkish part of Donna Reed. They've grappled with young ones and know-how, the women's circulation and the sexual revolution, and feature patented their very own path in inventive Arguing. They've survived either the dream apartment from hell and the empty nest, and feature been there for every different via maternity, miscarriage, and mortality. From the anxious newlywed, to the supermom who increased guilt to a sacrament, to the steadfast associate, to the shy writer at the street, here's an Erma Bombeck readers have by no means visible sooner than, in a publication for all people who find themselves married, who have been married, who're brooding about getting married, or who've hesitated (until now!) to make the leap.
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Extra resources for A Marriage Made in Heaven: Or Too Tired for an Affair
97. The winner of the rat race is still a rat. 98. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. 99. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. 100. Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
2. Put it in the freezer. 3. Wait 10 minutes. 4. Take out the fly, it will be unconcious, not dead. 5. Pull out a strand of hair or a thin piece of string. 6. Tie it around the fly. 7. Wait till it wakes up. BAM! Nerd" Joke 8: 3 years old: My mom is the best! 7 years old: Mom I love you! 10 years old: Mom what ever! 17 years old: OMG my mom is so annoying! 25 years old: I wanna go back home! 35 years old: Mom you were right 50 years old: I dont wanna lose my mom! 70 years old: I would give everything to have my mom with me!
The farther away the future is, the better it looks. 86. There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot. 87. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want? 88. We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die. 89. I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them. 90. If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it. 91. How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it. 92. I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?