New PDF release: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

By Dave Barry

TAKE YOUR trip advice FROM DAVE BARRY,
A man who's relatively GONE!
Complete with maps, histories, old fashioned neighborhood proof (France's nationwide lingerie altering Day is March 12), tune lyrics, important tricks on the right way to get via Customs (all bugs needs to be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's personal fond holiday nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S in basic terms shuttle advisor YOU'LL EVER want is simply that. You'll locate every little thing you must be aware of during this highly finished reference, including:
- Air trip (Or: Why Birds by no means glance actually Relaxed)
- touring as a relatives (Or: No, we aren't There Yet)
- touring in Europe ("Excuse me! the place is the massive Mona Lisa?")
- camping out: Nature's means of selling the hotel Industry

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Extra info for Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Sample text

Ramona also is good at attempting to explain the airline fare system, which is governed by a powerful, state-of-the-art computer that somebody apparently spilled a pitcher of Hawaiian Punch into the brain of, and it has been insane ever since. I base this statement on the fact that if I fly from Miami to, for example, Tampa, the round-trip fare is often hundreds of dollars more than what it costs to fly from Miami to, say, Singapore. This makes no sense. Singapore is in a completely different continent (Possibly Africa), whereas Tampa is so close to Miami that our stray bullets frequently land there.

Qu'est-ce 1'enfer que c'est? ") Attemptez-vous A yanquer ma chaine, boudet? ") Je donne madam CHAT plus viande que cette! ") Sacre moo! Ce EST mon chat! ("Holy cow! ") OTHER PRACTICAL FRENCH PHRASES Nous sommes suppose a faire peepee ICI? ") Mais nous sommes droit dans le friggant RUE. ") y a des RELIGIEUSES regardant nous. ") Dites, cette religieuse est hot. ") Peut-etre j'ai been en France trop longue. ") PRACTICAL SPANISH PHRASES In the Restaurant: Camarero, hay una mosca en mi sopa. ") Pero esa mosca es atarado al pantalones.

ME (very alarmed): Detroit? RAMONA (checking her computer): And get that cheese out of your hair. I always do what Ramona says, because she has the computer. Ramona could ship me off to the Falkland Islands if she felt like it. Ramona also is good at attempting to explain the airline fare system, which is governed by a powerful, state-of-the-art computer that somebody apparently spilled a pitcher of Hawaiian Punch into the brain of, and it has been insane ever since. I base this statement on the fact that if I fly from Miami to, for example, Tampa, the round-trip fare is often hundreds of dollars more than what it costs to fly from Miami to, say, Singapore.

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