Download e-book for kindle: I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel by David J. Rosen

By David J. Rosen

Jason Strider is a twentysomething younger guy within the urban, with an English measure from an Ivy League college, a truly small condominium within the West Village, a vapid task as a receptionist at a casting agency—and no specific suggestion what to do along with his lifestyles. On such a lot evenings, Jason will get stoned and is going out, occasionally together with his party-hearty institution friend Tina and infrequently on my own within the immemorial male quest to get laid or, if no longer, get hammered sufficient to actually remorse it the following day and be past due for paintings.

Then one evening Jason has athletic, appliance-assisted sex with a adorable woman named Jane—and finally ends up lending her his Dickies denims. Many, many e-mails and textual content messages later, he's not able to reconnect together with her and is decreased to the plaint “I simply wish my pants back.”

How he does, in a such a lot unforeseen manner, locate these pants, and the way adulthood and mortality come to go into his slacker’s life, shape the problem of this clever, raunchily comedian, and eventually affecting first novel.

Show description

Read Online or Download I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel PDF

Similar humor books

Download PDF by David J. Rosen: I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel

Jason Strider is a twentysomething younger guy within the urban, with an English measure from an Ivy League college, a really small condo within the West Village, a vapid activity as a receptionist at a casting agency—and no specific inspiration what to do together with his existence. On so much evenings, Jason will get stoned and is going out, occasionally together with his party-hearty institution buddy Tina and occasionally by myself within the immemorial male quest to get laid or, if no longer, get hammered adequate to actually remorse it tomorrow and be overdue for paintings.

New PDF release: Sh*t My Dad Says

After being dumped through his longtime female friend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern came upon himself residing at domestic along with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who's "like Socrates, yet angrier, and with worse hair," hasn't ever minced phrases, and whilst Justin moved again domestic, he started to checklist the entire ridiculous issues his dad stated to him:

"That girl was once horny. . . . from your league? Son, allow ladies work out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them. "

"Do humans your age understand how to sweep their hair? It seems like squirrels crawled on their heads and commenced fucking. "

"The worst factor you'll be is a liar. . . . ok, nice, definite, the worst factor you'll be is a Nazi, yet then quantity is liar. Nazi one, liar . "

greater than one million humans now stick to Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and during this ebook, his son weaves a brilliantly humorous, touching coming-of-age memoir round the better of his prices. An all-American tale that unfolds at the Little League box, in Denny's, in the course of excruciating relatives street journeys, and, most often, within the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, real portrait of a father-son dating from an important new comedian voice.

<hr noshade="noshade" size="1" class="bucketDivider"/>

Get Expecting Someone Taller PDF

All Malcolm Fisher did used to be run over a badger. regrettably the badger became out to be Ingolf, final of the giants. along with his death breath he reluctantly gave Malcolm presents of strength and made him ruler of the area.

Get The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action (Darwin Awards, Book PDF

"Only issues are infinite-the universe and human stupidity, and I'm now not so yes concerning the universe. " -Albert Einstein

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the daddy of evolution, The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the best examples of evolution in motion, and exhibits us simply how unusual logic will be.

wonder on the thief who steals electric wires with no shutting off the present. Gape on the lawnchair jockey who floats to a peak of 16,000 toes suspended by way of helium balloons. examine from the fellow who friends right into a fuel can utilizing a cigarette lighter. All 3 -- and plenty of extra -- contend for Darwin Awards while their offerings culminate in remarkable misadventures.

those stories of trial and awe-inspiring error--verified by means of the writer and counseled through site readers--illustrate the continuing saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory.

Additional resources for I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel

Sample text

His cousin is a wealthy businessman. "Well, my advice to you is the same as I gave my daughter, Marlene, when she asked me what she should wear on her wedding night – a long bri-nylon nightie or a short skimpy baby-doll nightie. It doesn't matter what you wear. " * A man and woman walked into a bank with a large sack of coins. " asks the bankteller. "No," came the reply. " * "It's no good, sir," said the DSS man to his interviewee. " * A rich couple lost all their money, and were trying to think of ways to restore their fortunes.

John, your dad's not very good at these things, so I wonder if you'd tell your brother about the birds and the bees," asked Mum. " "Sure, we went down the Palais, picked up a couple of birds, had a dance, then took them round the back of the bus station for a good 'one two'. " * Poor old Sammy. He was a Caesarean baby and even now, 20 years later, he still goes out of the house through the skylight. * Two husbands are in hospital anxiously waiting for their wives to give birth. " she asked. " * The young couple have been married for six months and one day when they are in bed, he asks her if she is happy.

The family allowance cheque. * Flo's husband dies and because he was such a popular fella, she decides to put an announcement in the paper. But not having a lot of money, she tells the local newspaper she wants to keep it as short as possible. " "Actually, Madam, you can have up to six words for the same price. " * A jackpot winner on the lottery was asked what he was going to do with his new-found wealth. " * "He'll be alright soon," said the doctor, putting the patient into the recovery position.

Download PDF sample

Rated 4.94 of 5 – based on 15 votes