Download e-book for kindle: The Rudy Letters by Rudy Schumann

By Rudy Schumann

The Rudy Letters is a suite outrageous letters despatched to varied businesses and their genuine responses.

Watermelon fanatic, strongman competitor, aspiring sitcom author, battle veteran, involved citizen, and much more. Welcome to the advanced and oddly desirable global of Rudy Schumann.

They say 1000000 monkeys typing for one million years will ultimately produce the works of Shakespeare. One cute fool typing for a number of years could finally produce laughter. expectantly yours!

Show description

Read Online or Download The Rudy Letters PDF

Similar humor books

I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel by David J. Rosen PDF

Jason Strider is a twentysomething younger guy within the urban, with an English measure from an Ivy League college, a truly small residence within the West Village, a vapid activity as a receptionist at a casting agency—and no specific inspiration what to do together with his lifestyles. On such a lot evenings, Jason will get stoned and is going out, occasionally along with his party-hearty university friend Tina and occasionally on my own within the immemorial male quest to get laid or, if now not, get hammered sufficient to actually remorse it day after today and be past due for paintings.

Download e-book for iPad: Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern

After being dumped via his longtime female friend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern chanced on himself residing at domestic together with his seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who's "like Socrates, yet angrier, and with worse hair," hasn't ever minced phrases, and whilst Justin moved again domestic, he started to list the entire ridiculous issues his dad stated to him:

"That lady was once attractive. . . . from your league? Son, permit girls work out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them. "

"Do humans your age understand how to brush their hair? It appears like squirrels crawled on their heads and began fucking. "

"The worst factor you will be is a liar. . . . ok, fantastic, convinced, the worst factor you will be is a Nazi, yet then quantity is liar. Nazi one, liar . "

greater than one million humans now stick with Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and during this booklet, his son weaves a brilliantly humorous, touching coming-of-age memoir round the better of his charges. An all-American tale that unfolds at the Little League box, in Denny's, in the course of excruciating relations street journeys, and, most often, within the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, actual portrait of a father-son courting from a massive new comedian voice.

<hr noshade="noshade" size="1" class="bucketDivider"/>

New PDF release: Expecting Someone Taller

All Malcolm Fisher did used to be run over a badger. regrettably the badger became out to be Ingolf, final of the giants. together with his loss of life breath he reluctantly gave Malcolm presents of strength and made him ruler of the realm.

New PDF release: The Darwin Awards: Evolution in Action (Darwin Awards, Book

"Only issues are infinite-the universe and human stupidity, and I'm now not so definite in regards to the universe. " -Albert Einstein

Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the daddy of evolution, The Darwin Awards vividly portrays the best examples of evolution in motion, and indicates us simply how unusual logic may be.

wonder on the thief who steals electric wires with no shutting off the present. Gape on the lawnchair jockey who floats to a peak of 16,000 toes suspended by means of helium balloons. study from the fellow who friends right into a fuel can utilizing a cigarette lighter. All 3 -- and lots of extra -- contend for Darwin Awards whilst their offerings culminate in awesome misadventures.

those stories of trial and awe-inspiring error--verified through the writer and counseled through web site readers--illustrate the continued saga of survival of the fittest in all its selective glory.

Extra info for The Rudy Letters

Sample text

I think it’s a problem there aren’t more Americans on the ships. You will find management usually thinks the other way because the track record speaks for itself. You’ll get a hard time from most managers, I’ll tell you right now. ” I was truly pleased, but took pains not to show it. ” “Look, we just passed a USPH inspection. You will learn what that means. ” “The crew deserves this party, and you new trainees don’t. This ship is a party ship much more than even the others. Anyway, there are three shifts working the party, and I want you and Ravi to be the clean-up guys.

I asked, trying to bring her into the conversation. “What’s your favorite? ” Hila was a tiny woman from the island of Bali, and was Carnival’s first female Indonesian, according to Boota. Her hair was so long it almost reached her behind, and it was the Cruise Confidential ° 31 deep black of most Asians. Her smile was huge and so quick it was almost intimidating. Yet she was extremely shy. “Oh, no, I do not drink,” she answered. ” “Oh, I didn’t know that. ” She shook her head. “You are stronger than I.

Chihuly,” I corrected. “He is probably the world’s leading glass artist. You should see what he did for the lobby of the Bellagio in Las Vegas. He did a whole garden of glass flowers that cost something like one hundred grand each and…Holy Cat! ” I sped through the casino to genuflect before a huge orangeand-yellow sunburst. It was easily ten feet in diameter and glowed brilliantly. We discovered four of these masterworks that night. The Atlantis was world-class indeed! Alas, the ladies were not interested in art worship at such a late hour and they dragged me kicking and screaming outside.

Download PDF sample

Rated 4.18 of 5 – based on 25 votes