Download e-book for kindle: The Wit & Wisdom of Tyrion Lannister by George R. R. Martin

By George R. R. Martin

The fitting reward for fanatics of George R. R. Martin's A music of Ice and Fire novels and HBO's Game of Thrones: a set of depraved one-liners from the incomparable Imp of Casterly Rock, absolutely illustrated by means of Jonty Clark!

"My brain is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and i've my brain . . . and a brain wishes books as a sword wishes a whetstone whether it is to maintain its edge."

The jealous lots of the Seven Kingdoms may well name him Halfman, yet none have ever accused Tyrion Lannister of being a halfwit. His golden tongue has kept his dermis just a little extra frequently than it has landed him in mortal peril. Now, this detailed illustrated quantity preserves his so much crucial wisdom for destiny generations, that includes time-tested counsel on such different matters as...

The artwork of persuasion
"The most sensible lies are pro with a little bit truth."

Fine dining
"A little sincere loathing may be clean, like a tart wine after an excessive amount of sweet."

The reasonable sex
"The young children odor far better, however the previous ones understand extra tricks."

Royal politics
"Crowns do queer issues to the heads underneath them."

Common ailments
"A sword during the bowels. A certain treatment for constipation."

At as soon as fascinating, insightful, and ruthlessly irreverent, The Wit & knowledge of Tyrion Lannister is brief on pretense and overflowing with finely crafted gems--just just like the guy himself.

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Most appeared in the website archive, but were later removed based on this final public review. As you read the tales contained herein, keep in mind the lengthy submission process, and the care with which each gem was culled from dozens of competitors and honed to its current form. LAW ENFORCEMENT: CRIME DOES PAY 21 DARWIN AWARD: CONVINCE THE JURY Confirmed by Darwin 16 JUNE 1871 Proof that the only good lawyer is a dead lawyer. Clement Vallandigham was a well-known Northern Democrat who campaiged for states’ rights during the Civil War.

Case closed! All people improve the gene pool, some by birth, some by their demise. LAW ENFORCEMENT: CRIME DOES PAY 41 HONORABLE MENTION: SHORT ARM OF THE LAW Confirmed by Darwin MAY 2002, PAKISTAN Lack of judicial restraint leads to a judicial error. Usually it’s the criminal, not the judge, who attempts to take himself out of the gene pool. But not in this twist on a familiar tale! A man accused of possessing a hand grenade challenged police to produce it at his trial. When the police brought the grenade into the courtroom, the defendant claimed it was not real.

Shots fired, shots fired—I’m hit,” a police chief radioed to headquarters. The fifty-two-year-old officer reported that he’d been shot in the leg during an incident that began as a routine traffic stop. He had pulled over a rusted Chevrolet missing its license plates, but before he could emerge from his police cruiser, the driver had opened fire and put a bullet through the windshield. The suspect then charged the chief, who was shot in the leg during the ensuing struggle. A statewide manhunt was launched to locate the gunman, described as a white, bearded male, six feet four inches tall and weighing 195 pounds.

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